One winter morning about a year ago I decided I was going to paint. So I went into my barely-used art room, grabbed a canvas, some brushes, and some oils, and carried them downstairs to the dining room table. It's been a while since I've had the time to do a lot of art, but I thought I could sneak in ten minutes at a time throughout the morning in the middle of the normal happenings with the boys. Well, three hours passed and despite my best efforts, zero painting happened. And that was the morning I learned that there are just some seasons of life where you can't do it all. Or even some of it. Or even ten minutes of it. And in a flurry of frustration where all I could think was "that's it, I give up on ever trying to do anything other than be a mom again!" I packed it all up and stored it away. And- though I felt like a tantrum-throwing quitter in the moment- it turned out for the best. I haven't missed staring at those unused art supplies a single bit. And in time I realized that just because I can't do something as involved as painting doesn't mean that there isn't time for other good things. A few months later I took out some paper and a marker and sat down and copied an illustration out of one of the boy's story books. It was simple and relaxing and and there were no curious little fingers attempting to taste-test the turpentine!
One of these days there may be time to get the oils out again. But until then, I'm learning {and re-learning, it's a constant lesson of motherhood} the art of letting go of what's really not all that important at the end of the day. And in the most trying moments when I feel like being a mom has swallowed up every trace of what might make me ME, I look to Christ. The One who gave up so much more than a hobby for our sakes. The One who reminds me what real treasure is; the grace to be able to count "all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord"...and the incomparable gift of being "found in Him". {Reference Philippians 3:7-9}
Sometimes it's easy to forget, but do you know what's more worthwhile than finding the time for my own personal pursuits? Setting my gaze on Him long enough to remember that I have the incredibly unique privilege of being a child of God, a wife to a wonderful husband, and a mother entrusted with four precious souls that are worth pouring myself out for. Every last ounce of me, if need be. Praise be to God for His patience and perseverance in teaching me what really matters, and for inviting each one of us to receive the same grace.
One of these days there may be time to get the oils out again. But until then, I'm learning {and re-learning, it's a constant lesson of motherhood} the art of letting go of what's really not all that important at the end of the day. And in the most trying moments when I feel like being a mom has swallowed up every trace of what might make me ME, I look to Christ. The One who gave up so much more than a hobby for our sakes. The One who reminds me what real treasure is; the grace to be able to count "all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord"...and the incomparable gift of being "found in Him". {Reference Philippians 3:7-9}
Sometimes it's easy to forget, but do you know what's more worthwhile than finding the time for my own personal pursuits? Setting my gaze on Him long enough to remember that I have the incredibly unique privilege of being a child of God, a wife to a wonderful husband, and a mother entrusted with four precious souls that are worth pouring myself out for. Every last ounce of me, if need be. Praise be to God for His patience and perseverance in teaching me what really matters, and for inviting each one of us to receive the same grace.
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